


hiraeth - k.hatake

by elysianseraph (femboy_hatake)



Category: Naruto
Genre: (sorta) - Freeform, Anbu Hatake Kakashi, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, How Do I Tag, Not Beta Read, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:01:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24743491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/femboy_hatake/pseuds/elysianseraph
Summary: kakashi is more familiar with loss than life. his acquittal from anbu, and first encounter with you makes him feel like maybe there's a more out there for him.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Reader
Comments: 9
Kudos: 49





	1. stranger

**Author's Note:**

> i genuinely have no idea to summarize this story, but this is gonna be a slow burn fic kinda potraying how i see kakashi falling in love. it takes place post anbu, and implied pre-team 7 but it's not like super canon compliant. pretty slowburn, but i hope you like it anyways

Kakashi was sure he was dead. 

So - either this was purgatory, or Kakashi was soberingly alive. The rain beats down on him, as he looks at the stranger that hovers over him with a concerned expression. He isn’t sure if it’s the enemy or not - he doesn’t even really remember what he was doing as he watches the stranger furrow their eyebrows and squint down at them. The water soaks his clothes, but for some reason he feels like he’s burning up all the same. His eyes squint as he blinks trying to regain his vision. Your face is lit up by a lantern as you stand over him with concern. He makes an attempt to read your lips - you’re clearly speaking but what was it you were trying to say?

He sharpens his vision to look at you. 

“Can you walk?,” 

He thinks that’s what you said. As if controlled by some force of nature, Kakashi twitches his foot. He sits up, his weight barraging his ability to move as he groans. He clearly had some large injury that needed care, but all of his warnings come out in the form of painted huffs. You purse your lips, leaning down under his arm before adjusting half of his weight to balance on you. Kakashi isn’t sure what’s happening - though, he’s under the impression that he’s being kidnapped. He makes a noise of protest, but he hears you, his stranger - hush him. He’s a little offended but the memory becomes nothing but sticky still-images on his mind before he goes out like a light again. 

__ 

When Kakashi wakes up again, he’s sentient enough to know he’s not dead. It is a welcome change, he has to admit - but suspicion is an immediate threat as he shoots up in his bed. He sits still momentarily, taking note to observe the room he’s ended up in with careful composure. He can’t identify much - in fact, the room is too empty to feel like personal quarters but everything that is placed is so attentive to detail there’s no way it was some major enemy base. It mostly just feels unfinished. Kakashi is sat on a full size mattress, one knee up, the other leg laid down as he rests his chin. There’s a cat clock on the wall, a dresser with a mirror and a nightstand. No personal belongings like childhood pictures or pictures of friends - but the clock was an interesting detail. 

Laid out next to him were his kunai knives, shuriken, and other various ninja weaponry - which strikes him as very odd. If he was in enemy territory, why would they let him keep his items? He figures it’s a test - depending on the enemy they could be making a game of his capture. His mask is also sitting directly on the table, which he’s only just noticing. He takes note of the sound of shuffling outside of the door, immediately reaching to the bedside table for one of his knives and his mask. Kakashi shivers, his clothes are still partially wet but he breaches the door and takes a deep breath. 

“Oh, hey you’re awak - WOAH, what the fuck?,” are the first things you say to Kakashi when he approaches you after knocking out in your bed. 

Kakashi holds a kunai to your throat with a menace you’re not expecting. You don’t flinch, and Kakashi lowers his tone to talk to you. You almost rolled your eyes - you could gather that he was some type of shinobi based on the contents of his bag but was this really necessary? You take a deep breath. 

“Calm down,” you say simply. He doesn’t let up and you sigh. 

“You can check me for weapons. I’m a civilian, Y/N - I own a diner in Konoha. You were knocked out in front of the west gate. I took you home cause you were bleeding out on the side of the street, and I gathered you were a shinobi in the village,” you explain calmly. He sighs again, looking at you suspiciously but lowering his knife. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. 

“How did you know I was a shinobi of the leaf?,” he questions. His ANBU gear was supposed to mask his face, and he wasn’t wearing his headband. 

“Tattoo,” you say simply. He finally relaxes, heaving out before placing the kunai on the counter you were standing at. He didn’t even take the time to see what was happening, but you were just making some dinner at the small counter of what he can only assume is your home kitchen. He feels a little sheepish, though he’s not exactly trusting of you yet either. You don’t figure he would be, but no need for the kunai. Seriously. You pick up your chef's knife - as Kakashi stands awkwardly a bit behind you. 

“Go ahead and take a seat,” you offer. He does, pulling out a wood table, sitting down before feeling an ache down his side. You continue your cooking, before going to speak. He places his elbows on the table, pinching the bridge of his nose with a huff. 

“I found you pretty beat up by the side of the road,” you start, pouring some onions in medium hot oil, stirring gently “If you didn’t die from exhaustion, plus your wound - you would’ve died from hypothermia. My place was closer than the hospital,” you explain. Kakashi just nods as you continue, and his stomach growls. 

“I know some basic medical stuff, so I cleaned up your wound while you were awake and then you just knocked out in my bed. I just put a blanket on you and let you sleep, even though my bed is now wet,” you say exasperated. He wants to say something about being sorry but the words escape him. 

“You look like a deer caught in headlights - relax,” you say with a chuckle. He sighs again, running his hair through his hair before taking a deep breath. 

“Thanks..” he starts but doesn’t know how to continue. You throw some garlic into the pan before cringing at how the hot oil splatters 

“Y/N,” you finish. Kakashi nods. 

“Kakashi,” he sounds exasperated. You roll your eyes - how is _he_ annoyed like he didn’t just a hold a knife to _your_ throat. 

“Why’d you..?,” he starts. You already have an idea of what he’s gonna ask so you answer before he finishes. 

“My place was just closer than the hospital and I didn’t think I was gonna be able to carry you that whole way,” you admit. Kakashi takes note of your build, and finds himself impressed with the fact that you could carry him at all. He finds himself staring at the back of his head, trying to recover all of his memory. He groans, his headaches so bad he feels sick and you click your teeth. 

“Seriously - Kakashi, was it? Relax. Your body is already super overexerted, and too much hard thinking is gonna kill you,” you say honestly. He nods, not heeding your warning as another shooting pain hits him. 

“The Hokage - I have to,” he starts and you stop him. 

“I know you're a ninja, but that's a worry for tomorrow. Relax first, or you’re going to feel a whole lot shitter soon,” you warn. Kakashi falls silent. It doesn’t seem to phase you really, and Kakashi isn’t sure if that’s a blessing or a curse. Kakashi just watches you cook, your attentively browning chicken in a different pan than the ones the onions are cooking. He can also smell bread? It makes him hungry, he has to be honest. You pause your cooking, lowering the heat before pouring him a glass of water.

He watches you go to your fridge, humming as you pull a plastic container with orange slices in it. You place both items in your hands in front of him, and he looks up at you confused. 

“You’re clearly on the verge of starving but the curry is gonna take a while. Eat,” you say, nudging the fruit in his direction. He wants to refuse you but his body is absolutely aching for sustenance and he can’t find it in himself to say no. He opens the plastic lid, watching you disappear into cooking again as he mulls over the events that brought him here in the first place. 

This was his last solo mission as an ANBU agent. He tries his best to recall it despite the shooting headache - it was intel mission to try and get information on the Land Of Air who were planning to break Konoha security. He got caught up by two seperate ambushes and he used his sharingan which must’ve exhausted his chakra reserves. He doesn’t know if the relief of his ANBU duties were a blessing or a curse yet, but as of right now - it feels like a curse. His hands drift down the wound that scars the side of his body, and he furrows his brow. This was a somewhat major wound, but it seems like it got healed with medical ninjutsu and he’s gathered from the conversation he hasn’t been to a hospital. 

“Are you a shinobi?,” Kakashi asks - not really knowing how to word the question. He hears the click of a gas stove before you turn to him, patting down your apron. 

“Not formally. I picked up basic medical ninjutsu a long time back, but that was the first time I’ve had to use it in years,” you answer plainly. He has a row of questions lined up to ask you, but he doesn’t know if it’s appropriate. He just stares down at the table again, mindlessly eating peeled orange slices and drinking water like his life depends on it. You were nice enough to leave the pitcher next to him, so he pours in quietly and just sits. 

He has a lot to think about, yet every time he tries too his mind blanks and he’s not sure of what the cause is. He figures it’s you - this is the first time he’s spent one-on-one time with another person in something like the last decade (other than Gai, who insists on checking on him) but he hasn’t been around another person in so long this whole thing feels awkward, at least to him. He’s sipping his water with an intensity that makes the whole room feel tense but you seem relaxed. 

“I’ve never seen you in the village before,” he says it like a statement, trying to make conversation. It comes off more accusatory than friendly, but Kakashi tried and he’ll take that as achievement. He’s not sure why he feels like he should make conversation with you - or really why he hasn’t packed his shit to leave yet. He figures it’s too late for that, but it’s uncharacteristic for him to be this open to chilling with a stranger. He’s pretty hungry, so maybe it’s the promise of food mixed with the disastrous weather (that he enjoys in other circumstances) but whatever it is, he’s not a fan. 

“I’m not from here. I moved here pretty recently with permission from the Hokage,” you answer. 

“Where are you moving from?,” 

You pause momentarily, unsure about how to answer that before you shrug. Hoping he doesn’t notice your hesitation to answer, you take a deep breath before continuing. 

“I was a merchant my whole life, so I don’t have a particular province I’m loyal too,” you explain lightly. Kakashi just nods in acknowledgement. 

“What made you pick Konoha?,” Kakashi isn’t sure why he’s so curious about your life but if you were going to become a permanent fixture in the village coupled with the fact you were a total stranger who just picked him up from the side of the road - he thinks it’s fair. Admittedly, his distrust of you isn’t entirely warranted - there's a sense in him that says he should be grateful he’s alive right now and didn’t get run over by something on the side of the road but he refrains. 

“I like the scenery,” your answers are never much longer than they need to be, Kakashi notes. He just does another awkward nod, sipping water like his life depended on it. You said you were opening a diner right? Is that why your food smells as good as it does? You’re making what he assumes is some kind of curry - a touch more savory but there's a good sweet smell in the room too. It makes him unbelievably hungry, his stomach growling at the wistful promise of being able to eat something hearty and whole. 

Kakashi enters a state of quiet silence, though it’s not entirely uncomfortable. You didn’t do much to acknowledge him, and he returns the silent social contract by not acknowledging you. His thoughts immediately drift - a deep pit of emotion in his gut that is likely a result of his exhaustion. Kakashi doesn’t normally do things like rest until it’s absolutely necessary - like, he might die if he doesn’t. Kakashi has been ANBU for most of his life - but this was his last mission and these were the circumstances he was under. When Hiruzen relieved him of his duties, he was under the impression he was no longer fit for the work. 

It wasn’t like he took any personal offense, but it did sting. This has been his whole life, even if his early childhood was nothing short of consecutive losses - he’s never known anything outside of ANBU forreal but he’s been relieved. So, what will he do? Or more - who is Kakashi Hatake? He’s never been able to think too hard about the question. That name has infamy for being a cold-blooded killer, risk-taking but efficient. He no longer wore the mask handed to him by the government of the leaf, but reamins the one he’s never taken off. It felt like a shield wearing off, and it’s all he can think about as he twiddles his thumbs in your apartment. 

There's a small part of him that knows he is the one who is strange in this situation, quiet and unquestioning of his circumstances but distrusting all the same. Weren’t you just as odd? Bringing a complete stranger in a place as intimate as your home without any hesitation about who they might be or what they may be after? He sighs to himself at the thought - how naive you must be to be so trusting of him. He’s frustrated with it strangely - so he opens his mouth, and the lecture comes out of it naturally. 

“You shouldn’t be so trusting of strangers,” Kakashi warns. You turn to look at him with raises brows, lips upturned slightly in amusement 

“You were only lucky that I wasn’t someone dangerous,” he has a tone to him that strikes you as… almost fatherly? Did he have children or something? 

“I was expecting more of a thank you,” you reply, an edge of sarcasm to your tone. He grows quiet, a little unsure of how to proceed but he agrees with his sentiment. He wants to say that he’s being serious, but even when he had threatened you with a kunai to your neck - you didn’t seem to be scared. He supposes he can’t take account of your naivety knowing nothing more than your name - but still, shouldn’t you be more careful?

“It’s dangerous to bring people into your home without knowing what sort of person they are,” he says, voice serious. He doesn’t respond to your sarcasm, but he doesn’t deny that he’s thankful to you either. 

“You’re not a stranger,” you say with an eye roll. You can feel his argument waning over the conversation so you stop him before he can continue “You’re of the leaf, just like I am now - so we’re neighbors,” you have a lightness in your voice like you believe every word you’ve just said. He scoffs audibly this time, but ultimately he guesses he can’t argue with that without sounding extremely paranoid so he doesn’t say anything else. 

He was trying his hardest to get back into his thoughts, resettle into the comfortable silence but he really just can’t. It’s strange, your presence is oddly distracting for him even though you don’t spare him a glance once you’re back into the motion of cooking. He has to admit, you're a natural at it. Kakashi has learned a bit about cooking and has decent skill in the kitchen - had the situation been different he might offer to help you. 

You do everything with a lithe to your step, which Kakashi hasn’t had in a kitchen before. Cooking for him is equal to survival, something he’s had to pick up so he doesn’t die of starvation or survive off of ramen his whole life. The latter half of that statement sounds worse honestly, but the point is that he can recognize good cooking when he sees it. He has a distaste for your presence in a lowkey way, but your food - he’s looking forward too. He’s also painfully hungry, and a hot meal almost sounds like a dream too far away to touch. 

He settles on just watching you work in the kitchen (which sounds a lot creepier than he intends). You’re hypervigilant about making sure everything is in order and timely - not once during the process do you make a mess of your space. It’s almost too efficient - he wonders who you learned that from. A cabinet full of spices that you rotate through, tasting and adjusting as you deem fit. You seem somewhere else, focused on the task at hand in a way that Kakashi almost enjoys watching. It’s pleasant to see. 

He figures the food is closed to finished, watching as you reach into some cabinets, grabbing plates and utensils to eat with. Kakashi moves his glass of water and turns in the plastic tupperware to your kitchen counter as you move the large pot of hot curry onto a mat to prevent it from burning the wood table. Similarly, a hot pot of rice makes its way onto another colored mat. Kakashi watches with eager eyes as you spoon rice onto one side of the plate, laying a rich-colored orange curry on the other. He’s never been this hungry before, and the food was calling out to him. He takes a deep breath, sitting at his seat on the table as you return to the table with your own glass of water. 

“Do you want some sake or anything?,” you ask. Kakashi just shakes his head no, but he doesn’t meet your gaze and you can’t help but give a light giggle. From what you can gather - minus him being on edge, he was rather relaxed. His ability to not suffocate in silence while you were cooking could tell you as much, and you have a feeling it wouldn’t take too long to befriend him if you gave it an honest shot.

You clasp your hands together, giving thanks for the food before you and Kakashi eat in a comfortable silence. You watch him as he unceremoniously pulls his mask down. He visibly relaxes as soon as food enters his mouth, and you can’t help but chuckle at his sudden change in demeanor. As if a switch has been turned on, he makes a noise of approval while eating before giving you a wide eyed expression. 

“This is…” he pauses, swallowing his bite because it’s impolite to have food in your mouth. “This is good,” he takes another bite and eats it, eyes nearly rolling into the back of his head in blessing. It burns just slightly traveling down his stomach and making him feel all warm and fuzzy. 

“You’re a great cook,” he says in earnest. You blush, every so slightly, tucking some hair behind your ear. 

“I hope the village thinks so too,” you laugh lightly, though there’s a lingering sense of panic in your voice. He nods at you assuringly - there isn’t much along the front of restaurants that aren’t family owned. Food businesses always do well in Konoha - and with food of this caliber he’s sure you’ll get business. 

Kakashi warms up to you soon after the food in his body gets digested - his sudden shift in mood and the change in atmosphere makes you laugh more than once as it comes to be known that the grey haired ninja is oddly reactive. A paradoxical shift in his demeanor from when he was threatening you only an hour ago. He just eats in quiet - now taking notice to the room as a whole with a new relaxation in his shoulders. He notices the lack of furniture but the way the kitchen is already stocked - it puts a smile on his face. Looking at him again - he’s rather handsome. You don’t think he catches notice of you staring, he seems deep int his own thoughts. 

“I.. uh.. thank you - for the food, and everything. And for taking care of me,” he strains himself, awkwardly trying to show off his gratitude. He’s determined that you’re actually decently nice. You had some of Gai’s outright will to help other people, though you were far less aggressive about it. Gai is Kakashi's closest friend, so that trait in you is… nice to see. 

“You sound so uncomfortable,” you snort a little and Kakashi has a frown on his expression. 

“If you really wanna express thanks, come visit my shop when it opens up. It’s open 5 days a week from 8am to 8pm,” 

“What’re you planning on doing?,” he doesn’t really know how to ask the question and you laugh. 

“It’ll mostly be selling baked goods and premade bentos - but there’ll be a small area for sit-in dining,” you lament, thinking over the blueprints of the shop in your head. Kakashi raises his eyebrow in interest, the mischief in your expression making him curious. 

“You bake too?,” Kakashi has an interest in his voice. You stare at his plate - now clean, before nodding and leaning down to open the oven door. Inside the oven is a loaf of bread, with a faint but sweet smell. Kakashi doesn’t really like sweets, but he has to admit it smells good. You take it out, placing the rack on the counter before pulling out a serrated bread knife. You cut him a slice of bread, putting on a napkin for him and sliding it his way. 

He looks at you first, then back at the bread as you continue to slice away at it. He takes a sip of water first, and then takes a bite of what is truly the most incredible bread he’s ever eaten in his whole life. He recognizes it’s just plain milk-bread but it is remarkably soft and he wants to cry every time he takes a bite. He doesn’t normally just eat plain bread - but shit, if this wasn’t godlike in taste. He stares at you wide-eyed, before you give him a cheeky smile. 

“I’ll make sure to visit,” Kakashi assures. You give him a sincere laugh, and Kakashi takes note of you for the first time in this whole encounter. You were.. very pretty? He doesn’t know why he didn’t see it before - your features are softened under the lights. Hair fallen over your shoulders, but still tucked carefully atop your head. You had on a bandana to hold it back. You were pretty, certainly. Kakashi feels his heart stutter momentarily but brushes that off quickly. 

“I’ll forward to it,” you say, giving him a softened smile. Kakashi fills with anticipation. 

“I should be heading home soon,” Kakashi says, looking over at the time. It was 3am about now, it wasn’t appropriate for him to still be here. You give him a nod, directing him to a bag of some wet clothes (mostly just his gear) and then reminding him of his items in your bedroom. He just gives you another small thanks - going to gather his things. The rain has settled by now, but the Hokage's office is likely closed. 

Kakashi takes the bag in his hand, readjusting all of his gear before you walk him to the door. You give him a small smile, and had you not been strangers you probably would’ve given him a hug too. He just gives you a bow of respect. 

“Be seeing you,” is the last thing he says before he bows out of your apartment. He’s familiar enough to know exactly where you live, in an apartment complex close by. He makes his way out to his own house in an odd daze - what just happened? It doesn’t feel like a real experience but you were definitely real. On his way home, he notices a new storefront and can only assume it’s your diner. He smiles at it as he walks past. 

Tomorrow is his first day as a genin instructor. What an odd way to start this new chapter of his life, he thinks. He wonders what his friends would think of his predicament, and makes a note about going to visit them soon.


	2. old friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it’s been a while since you and kakashi first encounter. he hasn’t given you much thought but your daily presence is welcome. what happens when he realizes theres more than what meets the eye?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't wanna flood the comments too much but thank you so much everyone who commented!!!! it means the world and then some and gives me motivation to keep writing the story. that being said i hope you enjoy this chapter. this is literally SO slowburn please be patient w it and thank you gain.

“Rin,” 

Kakashi stares at the epitaph with a tired expression on his face. In one hand, there’s fresh flowers and in the other is his bag. He’s still in his civilian clothes, a black shirt and pants with a mask over his face. His lips are upturned but the gesture isn’t sincere, though he figures happiness while visiting a grave never is. He stares down at the name and takes his seat. The place is entirely barren, not a soul in sight. He brushes some dust away with gloved fingers, picking up the vase with wilted flowers and replacing the new ones. He hums at the colorful petals, placing them in the same spot they always are. 

“How are you, today?,” he asks. He pauses, as if waiting for a response but then continues quickly after “I’m okay. It’s been a while, but I’ve been relieved of my ANBU position,” he informs, fiddling with a string on the end of his pants. 

“I’m a genin captain now,” he takes a deep breath. “I use the same test that Minato sensei gave us, remember? The bell test,” he finished, with a huff through his nose “I’m not sure if I’m as kind as sensei though,” he sounds embarrassed. He looks at the stone, and he can almost feel her right next to him. He always can. 

“I met a new team yesterday,” he says with a bated breath “Team 7. It has the remaining Uchiha boy, Minato sensei's son, the ninetails - and a girl named Sakura Haruno. I met her parents, they seem nice,” Kakashi says with a grimace. It wasn’t a lie, really. Sakura's parents just had strong personalities. Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura - he wonders what they’ll be. He’s supposed to meet them today again. He’s never nervous to interact with a new genin team, but he wonders with such an interesting line-up if they’ll pass his expectations. 

“You would love Naruto,” he takes a pause, leaning back on his palm and looking at the orange colored sun “He’s just like Obito - he has big dreams. Sakura is most like you, but she can be shallow sometimes. And Sasuke was like me when I was younger, stubborn and arrogant,” 

“From what I’ve seen, Naruto has the most drive. Sasuke has the most anger. Sakura doesn’t seem like she knows who she is yet, sheltered maybe,” 

“I don’t know them yet, but on the surface Rin,” he takes a deep breath, and there's a small smile on his face “On the surface, they’re like team Minato,” 

“They have their bell test today, so I guess I can’t say for sure if they’ll pass but we’ll just have to see. Obito will know before you do, but next time I come by, I’ll tell you,” he says, referring to Obito's headstone in the clearing far from the formal graveyard.

Kakashi pauses for a moment, trying to think of what else may be important. He stares for a bit, before a lightbulb goes off in his head. He stares at the stone again. 

“Oh, and there’s this girl who moved in. Her names Y/N - she saved me from my mission the other day,” he has a light tone in his voice. Kakashi has since made it routine to drop by to your store in the morning. He gets a fresh cup of tea and some savory bread and eats for a bit. He doesn’t always see you, sometimes you’re off in the back but without fail his tea and bread are hot and waiting for him on the counter. You write a note if you're not up at the front, and your employee - Mei, will ring him up. 

“She makes dango like how Obito would like - a little sweeter than average,” his voice is lighthearted. He doesn’t know why he feels a need to tell RIn about you, or Obito for that matter. But, it just feels necessary. “She’s a great cook, and apparently Gai really likes her,” he pauses, overcome with an odd feeling in stomach, but he shrugs “I wonder if that’ll go anywhere,” 

“Speaking of which, nows about the time I’m supposed to go get breakfast,” he doesn’t add see her to the end of the sentence, even if he wants too. “I’ll see you soon, Rin,” 

He ends it with a smile, brushing the legs of his pants with a small smile. The sun hasn’t turned the sky entirely blue, still brushes of pink in orange in places it doesn’t belong but Kakashi admires it nonetheless. He gives a small smile, fingers shoved into his pockets as he walks. He pauses to straighten his back, he slouches way too much. It’s hurting his back, but it’s more comfortable to stand that way. He just shrugs, suddenly a little too aware of the way he’s moving. Goddamnit. 

He ends up at your storefront taking the time to notice the small details. It’s a neutral beige color, painted with a bunch of flowers going along the side of the door. On top of the door, is a bell to let you know when there's a new customer. Your storefront name “Close to home,” hangs out in bright letters that match the colored lettering. He feels familiar whenever he drops by - your food just has that sort of effect. 

To his surprise, you’re working at the front today. Mei is sorting some shelves that sell artisan goods, and gives Kakashi a bright smile. She’s a few years older than his genin team, and Kakashi wonders when you two met - was she family? He didn’t actually know. You give Kakashi a signature grin when he walks in, and he returns it with an awkward smile. He isn’t sure if he’ll ever get used to how awake you are in the mornings. 

“Kakashi! Good morning!,” your greeting is offered to him with a chipper. Immediately, you start to ring him up and he stops you. He looks at you sheepishly, and you give him a curious quirk of brows. 

“Could I get two bentos and some cookies?,” he asks kindly. He picks 2 of the same premade kind off of the menu and you wait for him to explain as you signal Mei to get some cookies from the oven in the back. 

“I’m supposed to meet up with my genin team today for something - around 5am or something. The bentos are a part of their training,” Kakashi explains. You look at him pointedly, before giggling. 

“Kakashi, it’s 7am,” you remind, taking the money from his hands and giving his change back. Mei brings back a pack of cookies, and you go to wrap everything up neatly for him. He has a very insincere look of surprise on his face, and you can’t help but laugh loudly at his revelation. He’s never heard you laugh like that before, and it’s nice. It’s the kind of laugh that makes him want to laugh too for whatever reason. 

You take a deep breath from your laughter, pushing the food to him before a lightbulb goes off in your head. You give him a sorry smile. 

“Ah - your tea, I forgot to brew it. I can do it now if you prefer, but you might be late -,” you pause, giggling to yourself “Why do I get the impression that’s not a concern?,” you say with another bout of laughter. He huffs a little this time. 

“I’ll make sure to tell them it’s your fault,” he almost pouts. A grown man of his stature pouting like a small child is a fascinatingly adorable sight. You shake your head, saying another sorry before you go to brew the tea you’ve promised. Once it’s up, you give him another look. 

“Your… genin team, was it? What’re they like?,” you ask, only curious. Kakashi doesn’t really divulge much into his duties as a team leader, but from the conversations him and Gai have in the store from time to time - you get the impression his teaching style is rooted in tough love. He looks bored, but he’s really just thinking. Bored is his default expression, but don’t get the wrong idea - he’s very in tune. Sometimes, when you talk his ear off about some store related complaint, he pauses to give a proper response. It takes you by surprise every time. 

“They’re… interesting,” he starts. He’s unsure of how much of the village history you know, so he just says their names to gauge your reaction. 

“Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumak, and Sakura Haruno,” he repeats. You look at him with a hardened brow. 

“Naruto…? Is he blonde… has a fun little jacket and stuff?,” you ask. Kakashi looks surprised, and laughs internally at how you describe Naruto. 

“Yeah, that’s him. You know him?,” He asks. You look embarrassed suddenly, and nod. 

“Yeah, he comes around sometime to buy bread,” you say quietly. You don’t divulge the rest of you and Naruto's conversations, though Kakashi gets the impression there was more to it. He doesn’t question it, but he wonders if it has to do with where you go around store closing. 

He’s never really thought about it before, but you always leave Mei to closing. He figures it’s because you’re the opener, and you wanted to work to be even. He doesn’t really have a clue as to what Naruto would have to do with that, so he just nods. You look relieved when he does, but it’s not of concern for now. 

“The test today, normally it’s the one a lot of teams fail - since it’s supposed to be focused on teamwork. Naruto and Sasuke are rivals so I just wonder how it’ll play off, though Naruto seems like the team effort ty -,” he pauses, as he takes note of your expression. You give him an almost doting smile. He was rambling so suddenly, what was that about? 

“Sorry, I - uh,” he pauses again, why was this nerve-wracking for him to do. You shake your head at him turning around for his sake really “Don’t worry about it, you sound passionate. It’s nice,” you compliment. Kakashi just looks at the floor, kicking dust. Mei snickers, hiding it immediately as a cough. 

You turn around with a gracious grin, pushing a small cup of tea with a lid on it over to him. He picks up both the bag of food, and the cup of tea with a small thank you. You just shake your head. 

“Anytime, Kakashi - come again soon! And good luck,” you say politely. Kakashi sees you give him a small thumbs up, and suddenly he feels lightheaded. He just mumbles something a little incoherent as he makes his way out to the street. He jumps around, making it eventually to a tree close to the training ground. He should probably be heading there, but he hasn’t eaten yet and the bread would get stale if he waited any longer. 

He pats some dust off the ground, before taking his seat under the shade. He opens up a parchment paper sleeve with some savory bread in it, taking a bite. Puling out his book from the front pocket of his pants, eating and reading in comfortable silence - Kakashi takes a breath. Kakashi had a real soft spot for the shojo genre, but alas. 

Kakashi would like to get into reading, but he can’t for some reason. Both your reaction to Naruto and your encouragement when he rambled earlier on were stuck on his mind. You were personally impersonally in a lot of ways. Your store, from what his friends say, was a regular spot for a lot of people.

Some of it was definitely your food - but there was a certain loyalty your customers had. It was explained to him that you were just very intent - like if someone were to come in, you would always ask them about the last thing they told you about. You were always listening to other people so thoughtfully, observant but kind. Your store had a certain coziness you just couldn’t get anywhere else. 

Kakashi doesn’t realize how much you were just like him, but in many ways you are. Personally impersonal, but you had a much greater emphasis on having an open heart to others. Anyone around you could say that much, even someone as like Kakashi could see that about you. It was natural to you, to be like that. 

He doesn't know Naruto very well, but he is MInatos sensei's son. He hopes in many ways that your connection to Naruto was close and sincere. You’d be a good influence on the boy, but he shakes the thought off as soon as it comes. He’s known you now for quite some time, ever since he first got assigned his new work - but he can’t call you his friend really. He doesn’t know quite enough to make a judgement like that yet, right? He shakes his head, taking a deep breath at all the thoughts that flood his mind. 

He finishes his breakfast, with a deep sigh. He stares down at the words on the paper of the book, and he’s hit with familiarity but not recognition. It’s annoying for sure, but he supposed he can finish during the training. He’s sure he’ll manage to catch a break then, so he stands - stretching and re-adjusting his mask to eat. There's a clink of bells in his pocket, followed by a deep breath. And Kakashi is on his way to see his students, who unbeknownst to him, are going to change his life. 

__ 

Kakashi isn’t sure what he expected - he never has many expectations of anyone, seeing it’s too much hassle for him when those expectations aren’t meant. Kakashi has something like a prediction - an idea of what an outcome will look like based on the type of person placed in a situation. On the rare chance he gets to witness a scenario he’s predicted, the outcome looks like he expects. On the other hand - there are some people who completely throw his ideas out of the window. Sometimes you meet people who blow every idea out of your head about what you believe, and shake you to your core. 

Kakashi Hatake of the sharingan, can say that Team 7 has blown his expectations out of the water. 

It leaves him in a place he can’t explain, which is equal parts disoriented and oddly giddy. In a lot of ways, it feels like some sort of odd second chance - another brick laid for his own future. For once, and for maybe the first time - he has an urge to mentor his students. He wants to feel proud of what they achieve because they’re one of the only teams to ever pass this test the first time. 

Sasuke is the person who breaks the rules, which Kakashi is surprised by. He has a suspicion that Naruto might’ve been the person had it not been him tied up to the pole, and he knew it wouldn’t be Sakura whose by the book. Sasuke's willingness to help Naruto, even if he had simply seen through Kakashi’s lecture, brings Kakashi this sense of joy he can’t shake. It is surprising enough that the rest of the day, Kakashi is on his toes with an excitement that rolls off of him. He doesn’t normally feel this way - nor does he really recall a time he’s felt this type of excitement down to his core but it’s a welcome change. A welcome change to his nonchalance.

So - Kakashi walks with a newfound pep in his step, looking around with his hands in his pockets and humming to himself. His eyes search around, and a distinct lightning blond catches his vision. He doesn’t know Naruto well enough yet to call out to him, they had only just met but by some protective instinct he trails behind him. He knows from the visit that this isn’t the way home for him, he lives basically opposite from here. Kakashi slows down just a bit, before coming to a minor halt when he sees where Naruto goes - turning the street corner to be in front of your store. Your storefront, with the cozy signs and bright lights is where Naruto comes to a halt and Kakashi's day suddenly becomes so much more interesting. 

A figure comes out, with a hood over their head and a bag in their hands. Kakashi finds himself disappearing into some stands, still with a clear view as he watches Naruto and the figure. He has slanted eyes, immediately worried about what he could be involved with before the hooded figure takes its hood down and… Oh. 

It’s you. Naruto looks at you sheepishly, as you shove the bag his way with a lopsided grin. Kakashi catches the conversation somewhat, the empty night streets make it a lot easier on him to hear as he watches the two of you interact somewhat animatedly. You reach your hand out, ruffling Naruto's hair with a small smile. 

“How did your exam go, Naruto?,” you ask. Naruto scratches the back of his neck, but gives you a huge smile. He gives you a thumbs up, and your head goes back in laughter. Kakashi can’t help but wonder what the connection is but he hopes you divulge something to help figure it out. 

“Ahh.. it went well I think. Kakashi Sensei said we passed!.” he says excited. Your heart immediately swells for the boy. He looks embarrassed again as his hands grip the bag in his hands. 

“You know - Y/N-san, you don’t have to keep sending me home with food,” he sounds embarrassed, like a kid asking his mom not to give him kisses in front of his friends, and you only huff “Naruto - we’ve talked about this,” you scold. 

“It’s not just you, yanno,” you say with a light hum “All this food has to go somewhere if it’s not good the next day. You just happen to be my favorite, so you get first pick. You know where the rest goes, so don’t feel so guilty,” you say earnestly. Naruto gives you a small smile, fighting the urge to give you a hug. Good thing for him, he didn’t have too. You give him a light squeeze and another head pat, and Naruto smiles big. 

“Now go home and get some rest,” you say warmly. Naruto just nods, making some Naruto-like noises, before running the opposite direction and Kakashi just stares in shock. He hides away so Naruto doesn’t see him, and takes some time to breathe and wrap his head around the situation. 

There was another bag in your hand, a little bigger than the one you’d given Naruto and Kakashi was officially invested in what you were going out to do at night. He’s always managed to miss you before you leave, but now this opportunity has fallen in his lap and he’ll be damned not to see what happens.

He trails behind you carefully, suddenly very thankful about his ANBU days and his stealth. You walk quite far, turning random corners before you end up in front of an orphanage. Kakashi puts the pieces together, and suddenly some heart strings get pulled - there's a streetlight above your head that almost looks like a faux halo and Kakashi can’t help his nervous beating heart. He immediately tries to think of hand-signs for a jutsu that makes him invisible. He doesn’t mean to intrude on your life, but he’s far too invested right now to not know the full story. 

It turns out he won’t have too, the spot behind some fences suits him well as an outpour of children rush through the glass doors and surround you with excitement. Kakashi sits in a stunned silence, watching you as you hand the food to an older woman before kneeling down in the sea of children. They all take turns hugging you, and a particularly small girl clings to your side. Kakashi feels his heart swell as he watches you - kids lined up with pictures and grabby hands to you. You look like you’re about to topple over, but the pure contentment on your face lets him know you don’t mind. 

“They’re gonna be all hyper before bed, you know,” the older woman heeds. You look at her apologetically, but she gives you a warm smile. Kakashi doesn’t know how to react - it wasn’t like he was expecting you to have some twisted reason you were out at night, but a reason like this also comes as a surprise. 

“Sorry, Miss,” you look at her before looking at the kids, all of whom seem to follow the sound of your voice “How about to put everyone to sleep, I read you all a bedtime story? How does that sound?,” you say with the brightest eyes. Kakashi has never considered you in a way this significant, but he’s not a monster. Any person to see this side of you would feel it in their heart wouldn’t they? He doesn’t know the story, but the comfortable air around everything is enough. You’d definitely been here before, that’s a type of familiarity you don’t gain overnight. 

He doesn’t hear the eruption of cheers for a moment, his own thoughts much louder but it comes soon after. You shush everyone, and all the kids give hushed giggles. The young girl clingy onto your side opens her arms up, and he watches as you stand. You pick her up, placing her on your hip and give some instructions as she buries her face in your neck and sleeps. You grin, whispering. 

“Okay, everyone. Let’s line up - single file, so everyone can get ready for bed time okay! Follow me!,” you have a cross between a whisper and a yell. The kids abide by your words easily, following you inside as the old woman opens the door for everyone with a smile on her face and entering inside herself. Suddenly the street is all quiet again, and the lights inside the orphanage seem to radiate as far as the eyes can see. Kakashi is only left staring, mouth parted in shock as he takes in all of what just happened. 

He stops himself there, knowing he shouldn’t intrude on something so personal and takes a few steps out before making a quiet walk home. Everything is quiet and loud at the same time, but the heartbeat in his ears doesn’t give room for much else. The thought of you runs rampant in his mind, stuck on every corner of it as he recalls the last hour or two. He doesn’t really know what to say - it’s an odd emotion to discover that someone has such a sincerely good part to them.. Kakashi has never sensed you to be a bad person either, but this level of complexity is much too foreign for him to have a grasp on. How… truly strange. 

The feeling is really unlike anything else. It feels like he’s come across some ancient secret he’s sworn to protect but he knows… he just knows so much more than he’s ever needed to about you. The easiest way to describe it now is curious. The encounter has opened up a Pandora's Box of all the things he doesn’t know. You’re so suddenly elusive, and oddly enough he’s bothered by it. 

Maybe bothered isn’t the right word - but it has him wondering. Your selflessness, where does it come from and why? Everyone has a story, and Kakashi feels like he’s in some kind of frenzy to uncover yours. Sure, you’ve always been there in one way or another, but this is different. Kakashi is nothing if not compelled to get all the answers, because there was something about all of it he just couldn’t let go. He figures it’s something of a mission, so he nods to himself seriously to treat as such. 

What’s a good mission name? He takes a pause to stare at the sky, and then gives a hardened brow. He’s decided, with a stupid smile on his face. 

Mission Whisk Taker it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!!!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> chapter 2 coming soon! thanks for reading <3


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